Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner Lyrics
by: The Dresden Dolls

He told me that I knew just what to laugh at
And I wanted to, but I just couldn’t ask if he would take it back
So I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said,

“Oh, darling, you’re charming, please don’t find it alarming
If I pull this stuff out to free up the hand for heavy petting
Now, there, there, I’m a friendly man
I joke about sex because it’s funny when you’re frightened!”

Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha!

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered,

“If I get any older, you can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects –
No, I’m kidding!
Don’t be scared, I’m a friendly man
I joke about death because it’s funny when you’re frightened!”

Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha!

This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You’ll be the very first to know
Maybe I’ll find out why this damn thing won’t stop bleeding!

Oh!

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given my head turning pages, fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly, who would ever have agreed if
I had been Schubert, or Mozart,
Devoted to the fine art
Of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential!

“Don’t be sad, I’ll come back again
I joke about trash ’cause it takes class to be enlightened!”

Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha!

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink, he says,

“I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting!”

Oh!