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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Tuesday, September 13, 2011
So, I've now been FORMALLY diagnosed with major depression.

Wooooo.

Granted, it was over the phone, but I mean, I figure the doctors at Stanford know their stuff.

I don't know why this is so funny. I guess it's like living your life for six years and then one day a doctor calls you and tells you "you probably already know this, but you have a nose."

Anyway, I think I'm scheduled for a brain scan on Friday, and they'll pay me $50. Or something like that. Fun times.

---

Oh yeah, and also, I started reading Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde. Unlike Party Monster, which I had been reading for the past few weeks at a very slow pace, I uh, sort of stayed up until 5 AM reading it, and then only stopped because my brain had shut down to the point where I could barely process any of it.



It's about a world where people live in a hierarchical class system based on the colors they can perceive. The main character is a Red, or a person who can naturally only see reds. I think the Reds are the lowest Chromatics (people who can see color) on the scale, with Violets being the highest. I'm not exactly sure how the rankings work, but I think it's just based on the visible light spectrum order. Oh, and they have synthetic colors that everyone can see (but the synthetics are in short supply).

Anyway, the Greys are like the serfs of the society. They have to do all the hard labor and the undesirable tasks that the Chromatics don't want to do. In the village that the main Red relocates to, the Yellows (who are the rule enforcers) have the Greys working sixteen hour days because of overemployment (I don't quite understand that part). The Greys aren't treated as subhuman, but they're definitely looked down upon by the upper classes.

Everybody in the society lives according to the Rules, which were set down by Munsell (prophet or god figure of some sort). Some of them are reasonable, but other don't make any sense at all. For instance, one meal a day is required (they usually have lunch at the town hall), and after fifty years of work a person is free to do whatever they wish during their retirement, but it's illegal to make new spoons (they just have to pass the existing ones from centuries ago along or scavenge for them) and not conforming to the dress code is a serious offense.

I think it's a pretty good book, although it took me a little while to get into the writing style of the author. I also think it would make a fantastic movie, even if we're seeing everything through the eyes of the main character, which would make for a strange color scheme.

---Edit---

So I just finished the book, and was crestfallen when I found out that the story wasn't concluded. There were fewer and fewer pages to go, and it didn't seem like anything was wrapping itself up. Then, to my delight, I see on the last page a notice about Shades of Grey 2 and 3. Excitedly, I turned my computer on to see if they were available and possibly purchase them impulsively.

Turns out that Shades of Grey 2 isn't actually due out for another two years.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

---

Lastly, that Spontaneous Combustion hot sauce is AWESOME. It's hot enough that it makes my eyes water and my nose run, and leaves a fairly strong burn in my mouth. I've been dousing my food with it, which helps me pace myself when I eat. I also tried putting a drop into hot cocoa, which was quite nice, actually. You'd think the garlic and whatever flavoring would make it unpleasant, but all that was noticeable was the heat.
5 Comments.


That book sounds awesome!
» middaymoon on 2011-09-13 10:01:17

Also, boo depression.
» middaymoon on 2011-09-13 10:05:54

I'd probably be told the same thing; I've known about my depression for a long time, I've just never been professionally diagnosed... I signed up for another therpist. Hopefully this guy works out better than the lady I spoke with. The difference is, I was referred to this new therpist.

I'm glad you're liking your new book.
» LostSoul13 on 2011-09-13 10:13:35

I came SO CLOSE to buying that last time I was book shopping. Now I'm definitely going to get it next time I'm out!

Are you glad to be formally diagnosed, or do you pretty much feel the same?
» Amelie on 2011-09-14 01:41:34

I did, until Boyfriend said he wouldn't accept it any more, I guess since I was able to stop then I don't really have a problem, I just think about it alot.
» hiddenagenda on 2011-09-14 07:14:22

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