A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Think about it
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Robbie and Bobby
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing
Meat and Plastic
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Clients from Hell
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Saturday, October 31, 2020
I keep feeling like my brain has short circuited.
So much time keeps passing somehow. I haven't written back to my penpal in three months, and every day I think I'll do it and then somehow the whole day is gone. Feelsbadman.
"My Best Friend" by Alfie Templeman.
I'm not sure what I'm doing with my time. I've been babysitting again, which is nice, but that's only a few hours a week. Started at the crisis line again too, but again that's not a big time commitment. School is on hold at the moment and I can't go out and do much, so aside from the few obligations I have during the week I mostly just... sleep, I guess. It's often more interesting to dream than it is to be awake.
It never feels like I have enough to say to write a blog post anymore. I want to write but nothing comes. Can't even write about my feelings because I don't feel much most of the time.
Tonight I listened to "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure on repeat though and I did feel something. It was a sort of beautiful sadness, deep, tender, painful, alive. It was like the old sadnesses I used to have. The ones that you are grateful for because they remind you that you can feel, that this is what feeling is. I miss feeling things deeply. So much badness in the world and the news, and I try not to absorb it but it still gets to me, and I'm burnt out on it. I've emotionally shut down to some extent to protect myself-- not intentionally, but against my wishes. It's all too much.
Nothing has ever been perfect or fully okay, but I feel less able to carve out some small space for myself to appreciate beauty and life now than before. It's a privileged position I guess, to have had the experience of life without inescapable awareness of injustice and immorality. I don't know that I've ever tried to ignore things though... Before it just felt like I had a choice on what to focus on, and I could put more weight on things that might lift me up. Now it's like the bad parts constantly intrude on my inner world and there's no respite.
Maybe we're all feeling this way though. The pandemic and politics have been burning out a lot of people.
I remember a clip from a movie-- some Japanese film I think-- where a mother is preparing food for her family. She has some kind of condition where she can't sleep or she'll die, so her family is trying to keep her busy so she'll stay awake. They plead for her to cook for them, and she finally finishes preparing the meal and then collapses. I have no idea what the context of that scene was but something about it resonates with me.
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