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A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness." ~ D.H. Lawrence "Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?" "Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost." ~ Seneca "People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect." ~ Daydream Nation "All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death." ~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes "The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road." ~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." ~ William Blake Think about it Musicalities! Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics Web Comics and Such A Distant Soil (Some nudity) The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff) Aquapunk Axe Cop Basic Instructions Bear Nuts Beeserker Blue Milk Special Bug Buttersafe ChannelATE Cigarro & Cerveja Crunchy Bunches Curia Regis Cyanide and Happiness dead winter (has some explicit stuff) Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?) Diesel Sweeties DUBBLEBABY Eat That Toast! E-merl.com The End Evil Diva Evil Inc. Existential Comics The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon For Lack of a Better Comic Forming (Explicit) Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?) Mirror The Last Halloween Last Train to Old Town L.A.W.L.S. 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Jhonen Vasquez's site Overheard in New York Passive Aggressive Notes Submarinechannel.com Superdickery UHpinions Whirled | The polyvagal ladder Tuesday, November 12, 2019 In my trauma class we use the concept of the polyvagal ladder to talk about the progression of responses to stress and trauma. It's quite simple but very helpful as a model. The basic idea is that there are three main states you can be in. You can be at the top of the ladder, where you're functioning optimally. A high enough level of stress (it's different for everyone) pushes you down the ladder and you go into fight-or-flight. Even more stress brings you down to the last state, which is shutting down or dissociating. People who have been repeatedly pushed onto the bottom of the ladder tend to skip fight-or-flight and just go straight to shut down after awhile. When people have to deal with constant inescapable threat they tend to just stay at the bottom of the ladder and not move up anymore. This occurs in situations like having an abusive parent who lives in the home. The child, who cannot fend for him/herself, faces an impossible dilemma. The person upon whom he/she depends for survival is also actively harming him/her. What can a kid do in such a situation? Typically children "resolve" this by blaming themselves for the parent's abuse. They assume responsibility for what's happening and believe that there must be a reason the parent is acting as such in order to preserve the idea that the parent is, underneath it all, a good and competent caregiver. As my professor likes to put it, "it's better to believe that my parent is good and I am bad, because if my parent is bad and I depend on them for survival, I'm really fucked." Now imagine that being said in a Chinese accent and you can kind of get the experience of being in my trauma class. Anyway, I've been thinking about all this in relation to myself, as one does. I think I used to go primarily to the bottom of the ladder and dissociate or freeze in stressful situations. Now why that has been, I can only speculate, but it seems to be my pattern. In more recent years though it seems like I've been shifting somewhat and don't drop down there as quickly, if at all. There are certainly still plenty of situations in which I freeze, but I've been noticing that I sometimes just feel strong emotions that don't get washed away with a blanket of dissociation when under stress. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand it's probably healthier in some way for me but on the other hand it kind of sucks to have to feel everything unpleasant. I'm also not sure why the shift has occurred. Years of therapy have helped, I'm pretty sure, but I can't pinpoint what exactly in that process has had an effect. 0 Comments.
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