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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
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Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
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Submarinechannel.com
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UHpinions
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Whew, like 13 hours out
Sunday, February 18, 2018
I was out a long time today, although I guess it was actually shorter than a typical Thursday, haha. Just felt like a lot more because I didn't have downtime.

In the morning I had ECS, and I invited that guy I had one date with. He seemed pretty into it, and we stayed through the potluck and the workshop after the main lecture. I didn't really talk to him during any of that, but he talked to various other people there at least.

After the ECS stuff, we went to a park near my house and walked along the creek for awhile. There's not actually a consistent bank or a path or anything, so it involved a lot of strategizing to keep going, but it was fun. Cold though, yeesh. Moving along kept me from getting too chilly, at least, and we never fell into the water.

Walked and got doughnuts after the creek, then walked back to his car and drove to a nearby bowling alley, but it was too loud in there so we walked to a movie theatre instead. On the way there, we got to the crosswalk as the display was counting down from 8, and it's a pretty long crosswalk... So I yelled "WE CAN MAKE IT" and sprinted across. He ran after me and looked like he enjoyed that. There were no good movies... so we just ended up getting dinner, haha. He looked so serious throughout dinner, and I mentioned it a few times jokingly. I think he could stand to laugh more. We talked a fair amount about our views on depression and its place in our lives. We're in very different places with our perspectives and handles on our depression... the major difference being that I haven't been significantly depressed in awhile.

He felt like getting a smoothie after dinner, so we went somewhere he could get one, then wandered around a nearby Target until it closed. That mostly involved me walking around and picking up random items and commenting on them, although he picked up a dumbbell to see how much he could lift. I was surprised by how much heavier 25 lbs felt than 20 lbs. We spent a good chunk of time in the deodorant/body spray aisle because I decided to see how a lot of the men's body sprays smelled. None of them were as good as Tag First Move, but I didn't expect anything to top that anyway. That scent is too good for this world of sinners.

After Target closed, we walked back to his car and sat there listening to the radio. I described the visual impressions I got from the songs that played, mostly, but we talked more about depression as well. Also talked about some silly stuff like what you could wish for if you had a genie. He was saying you could wish to have a bunch more magic lamps, but I said that didn't fit with the spirit of the law of "you can't wish for more wishes." Then he suggested wishing for a map to find other magic lamps, and I said that might be okay, since it doesn't guarantee you'll get other wishes. If it was an evil genie though, it might give you a map that you'd find unreadable or something. (This discussion started because I told him that all my wishes are heavily qualified just in case an evil genie tries to grant them)

I had a decent time hanging out with him, but I'm not really feeling a romantic spark here, so I think it's just gonna be friendship at most. He's got some things going on that I don't really want in my dating life. The search continues, I suppose...
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