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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You move forward, I move backward
and together we make nothing at all
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
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Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Camp Weedonwantcha
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
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Red Meat
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Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
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Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
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Looky here
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Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Today was a really good day. I went up to the city to meet with one of my professors, and we spent a couple hours talking about what happened in class with my controversial classmate on Wednesday, and about the broader social implications of it. She said that she thought it was impossible to bridge the gap and get through to people sometimes, and I said I didn't think it was. My reaction surprised her, but she said that it was heartening and that I'd given her hope. She also said I seemed very balanced and healthy and asked if I had any idea why I am the way I am now. I couldn't really give her a clear answer on that one, as I've been pondering it for awhile myself. Obviously I have my bad days, but overall, I've definitely been trending up for awhile in terms of my mental health and general centeredness as a person. My last year of school was hard on me, but I'm doing much better now.

After leaving the meeting, I felt radiant.

My prof said I seem to be on the right track with my aims, and that she had the urge to be a cheerleader to me, but she didn't want to pressure me to follow her ideas. I told her that I am doing what I want, and it's not about what other people think I should do. I make my own goals, based on my own values. Other people are useful sources of information, and on rare occasions, inspiration, but I'm not trying to win the approval of any particular person.

The conversation was heartening for me too, although I haven't been feeling like I'm stuck or headed in an unclear direction recently. It just felt nice to have the self-work I've done acknowledged.

I picked up some stuff I needed from The Body Shop (tea tree face wash-- I think it's been helping keep my skin clear since I started using it religiously again) and took the train back home. My dad picked me up and asked if I'd ordered something, because a very large package had arrived for me... I couldn't think of anything I'd ordered, so I was confused. When I got home, there was a big box addressed to me, and I opened it and found out that Kyle had sent me some speakers for my computer!

Here's one of them:

So, for a long time I had a super ghetto speaker setup. For a number of years I just had some old iPod speaker dock plugged into my headphone jack, but that kinda stopped working, so I was just using this other dinky little speaker that my mom gave me for free. It's like... some portable bluetooth speaker that also has an aux port. As much as I love music, I just haven't cared to invest in good audio equipment, I guess. Didn't seem super important to me to have high quality sound, haha. Kyle got tired of me having such a terrible setup though, so he sent me this super nice gift. BESTTTT FRAAAAAANDDDD. <3

WOW though, what a difference it makes! I've never had nice speakers before, so it's been like listening to all my music for the first time... I'm really enjoying it. :) Love feeling all the rumbles from the bass, and experiencing a new depth in the songs. I kind of want to just stay in my room and listen to music for days, but alas, I have class tomorrow...

So yeah, a bunch of good things today! Someone I used to be friends with also messaged me on OKC and told me to text him so we could catch up, and that was cool. I shot him a text, but he hasn't responded yet, so I'll see if we end up hanging out or anything I guess. All his profile pictures on OKC look like he was doing some kind of bodybuilding modeling, haha. I'll have to ask what that was about...

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