Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Memores acti prudentes futuri

You move forward, I move backward
and together we make nothing at all
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Camp Weedonwantcha
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Looky here
free counters
Friending/unfriending and quality of friendship
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
I was watching a video the other day about millennials and some of the patterns of the generation, and a minor point that came up in the video was that it can be a really big deal to some people to be unfriended on social media. This makes sense to me in theory, but I guess I just don't... share that feeling.

"Millennials in the Workforce, A Generation of Weakness - Simon Sinek" by After Skool.

I've been contemplating a number of the habits I've cultivated that have been protective, mostly unintentionally. My attitude towards social media is one of them. I didn't get Facebook until I was 19, which, while still within the crucial developmental period of my life, wasn't early enough for a lot of social media habits to become ingrained in me. Obviously I've been blogging on here for 10+ years, and I've felt some things come out of that (a pull to write in ways that attract more comments, for one), but I feel like I escaped the brunt of social media's influence during my adolescence. I've protected myself, but also isolated myself from the experience of my peers by doing this.

So in theory I do understand why unfriending is a big deal, but I don't have the up close sense of it that I wonder if I need to truly empathize. I unfriend people all the time, and keep my Facebook friends list very small-- it's limited to people I'm actively talking to, essentially. And actually, I regularly go through my list and unfriend people I haven't been talking to. I don't see unfriending as a definitive comment on my relationship with someone-- if at some point we talk regularly again, I can just add them back. That's what happened with Trevor. We had a break in our friendship, but now we talk again. It seems rare for friendships to survive like that, though. There's rarely enough investment for one or the other person to keep trying to reconnect, or that behavior gets shamed as clingy/aggressive.

I just don't see a lot of people fighting for their friendships or relationships, I guess. Not to say it doesn't happen, but for whatever reason, it's not represented well in the sample size I've gotten in life. I am appalled by what I perceive as the attitude many people take towards others-- that the relation is disposable, because they can always find a new one. The availability of instantaneous gratification and its degrading effects on the depth and strength of relationships is disturbing. Maybe it works for people, but that's not how I want to live my life or conduct my friendships. I wish there were an easier way to identify the people who didn't view things that way.

This latest person I've been having an intellectual discussion with-- maybe he gets it, we'll see. He's definitely intelligent enough to understand, I think, but this isn't something that is related solely to intelligence.

Another side of things is that I feel heavily discouraged from attempting to patch things up with people who were formally significant figures in my life, for a variety of reasons. One of the biggest is that there's no point if they're not also interested, and many people aren't because they ultimately treat people as replaceable, whether or not they realize it. I also don't want to face scoldings from my friends about "hanging on" to things, even though that mindset feels terribly wrong to me. They're coming from a place of good intentions, I think-- they want me to be happy, and they think that being happy means "not thinking about it" and "getting over it"-- but we don't have the same goals.

I think something that hasn't changed about me in a long time is that none of my goals include "be happy" anywhere. This seems like something people easily forget about me, or don't understand to begin with. Happiness has been a fortuitous side effect of my other efforts to be a better person, but that's it.

Whether or not it feels good or is easy, I just want to try to do the right thing, the way I've defined it for myself.

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.

randomjunk's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.146seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.