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healing chemistry?
I've talked to a total of 3 therapists in my life. The first one basically told me everything I already told myself. She helped little. Maybe gave me some concrete actions to take. Helped minimally, if at all. Expensive, even at a discount. The second therapist was actually recommended to me by a close friend who said that she got a lot of help from her sessions. 2nd therapist also sort of assessed my situation, gave me some concrete steps to address certain aspects I didn't like about myself. Introduced me to DBT or something. Bought a book, tried to read it and apply it, but it didn't really move me from point A to point B. I think a lot of the advice they gave me required me to go deep inside my inner workings and tweek little parts here and there, whenever I could manage it. It was exhausting to focus my attention deeper down, where I already spent a great deal of time.

The third therapist was a whole other story. She didn't really give me concrete steps and actions to take, but she shared anecdotes and experience, and she somehow infused me with the ability to see different pathways that led to positive places. Pathways that I had a really hard time seeing while talking to the other therapists. Talking to her felt like talking to some magical sparkly fairy who sprinkled pixie dust on me that allowed me to fly. I still think back to those conversations with really warm and fond memories.

I think I've told you all this before, but it really impacted how I understood how important something as vague as chemistry can be in a relationship, let alone one with the intent to heal.

Of course, maybe (thought I doubt) there is someone out there who just by sheer talent and skill is able to be of help to any person on the planet, but... that person is probably Tony Robbins or someone. I think highly efficient communicators that please everyone are extremely rare.

» watermelon on 2017-08-05 05:28:09

I went to a party recently where you weren't allowed to make small talk after the first five minutes. Instead everyone put topics into a hat that they wanted to discuss and we pulled them out and discussed them. It was really fascinating and fun. I've been trying to learn how to set up situations like this for my professional development group because I wanted them to bond deeply in a short period of time. I don't think that I was super successful at getting them to talk about deep things, but I did make them work on a bunch of projects together, and that seemed to make them bond because of the shared effort. Maybe you could call that a third type of communication... communication aimed at navigating a shared experience. The information content can be pretty low, but the conversation has a very direct point to it. It made me think about how some people's friendships aren't based on talking at all, but on experiencing things together. These are the kinds of friends that I really enjoy when they are around but never seek to talk to when they are away. I'm guessing that it would be hard to have a long-distance relationship with someone like that.
» Zanzibar on 2017-08-06 10:26:22

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