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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Today was calmer
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
"Up & Down" by Richard Dinsdale.


All these ups and downs... I feel better today than I did last night, which isn't saying much. Talked to my mom about changing my plans and she was fine with it.

There were some positive things yesterday I didn't really mention. For one, I made my uncle really happy when I mentioned that I'd taken his investing advice and had made a profit. He thought I had just been kind of humoring him or something, I guess. Anyway, he talked to me more about that and about the possibility of supplementing my (future) income nicely with some solid investments. I've said this a bunch of times, but I'd really like to get better at investing, haha...

Uncle: If you get good enough at investing, you can date whoever you want instead of marrying some rich old ugly guy! Then people will be marrying you for YOUR money!
Me: Oh... oh boy...!

I also mentioned to him that I'd been thinking about the possibility that I'll have to help manage renting out my grandparents' old house in Hawaii once my uncle gets older. He's planning on living in like the Philippines or something for a chunk of the year when he's old, and someone will need to manage the property. I might have to fly to Hawaii kind of frequently to do that, though, just to take care of problems and stuff. I wonder if once a quarter would be enough? I don't want to live in Hawaii, but I do want to help out with family matters. Would also be nice to have some extra income from that. And I just need to learn how to do these things sooner rather than later.

Today was pretty laid back, didn't do much for 4th of July. Got to talk to Fro on the phone for three hours! That was fun. I'm looking forward to hanging out with her more when I get back home.

My friend Esther is coming here tomorrow! I'm not sure what to show her first... Maybe we'll take her to get shave ice, or go to Chinatown or something. There's a weird ice cream place somewhere in Chinatown here that sells flavors like Cheezus, which... as far as I can tell from Instagram... is Cheez-It flavor ice cream. -Hurk- Anyway, I'm sure we'll find stuff to do. I know she wants to go kayaking, at least.

Am looking forward to... talking with the guy I like again. :P The past few days went surprisingly fast actually, but I still felt a little antsy over the lack of contact we had.
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