Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Memores acti prudentes futuri

I caught a piece of the sunshine
burned a little hole in me
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Camp Weedonwantcha
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Looky here
free counters
Technically it's not Saturday but oh well
Saturday, June 17, 2017
It's that quiet time of night when I end up thinking a lot because nobody else is up. Just me and my thoughts. This is the time of night when I'm most likely to get depressed, but I don't feel particularly down tonight.

I feel like it might be about time to make the rounds and ask my various friends and people who know me for feedback on how I'm doing and what they think I could be doing better. It's tricky though, since I haven't had much contact with people here since I haven't been home for awhile... Maybe I should wait a bit? I feel really like, settled and stable and grounded and like I'm moving in a positive direction, but that doesn't mean I should stop trying to be better... Where I'm at is good, but I still want to move in a constructive direction. Can always improve.

Trying to organize things within the urgent/important priority framework. I'm not sure if I've talked about that on my blog before, but I learned it in the Understanding and Managing Stress class I took in my first quarter of community college. Man, that class taught me a lot. When I registered for it I was honestly just picking things kinda at random based on the title and time, but that was one of the luckiest things I ended up in. Anyway, it's pretty simple; you just have urgent/not urgent on one axis and important/unimportant on the other. You end up with four squares: urgent and important, urgent but unimportant, important but not urgent, and not urgent nor important. I feel like they're fairly self-explanatory categories. Maybe not always self-evident prior to explication, though. Learning this framework made me realize that my mom doesn't differentiate between urgent and important, and that her scheme of prioritization increases her stress level (and as a byproduct, the stress levels of those around her).

Anyway, regarding what I think are probably flaws/things to work on within myself, there are some I've kind of left on the back burner because they don't seem particularly urgent or important. Insecurity is one of them. I'm still kind of insecure, yeah, but not to the point where it's detrimental to my life, I think. It got really bad in my fourth relationship for various reasons, but I've been slowly recovering from that. Ironically, part of what I think is becoming less insecure has been loosening my obsessive grip on that drive for self-improvement. Like... not in the sense of not trying as hard, but like... deciding it's okay to leave some things alone. (At least, I hope it's that, and not just laziness) The first example that comes to mind is jealousy. I've honestly had a jealousy issue as far back as I can remember. Not sure where it came from, but as a kid I was really clingy and worried about other people stealing my friends. While I've definitely relaxed about that a lot, I still feel it here and there. My fourth ex seemed to have a real problem with my getting jealous, and he didn't engage in the relationship maintenance tactics I implicitly expected... I remember sending this excerpt from one of my textbooks to him...

I loved this textbook so much for putting things into words for me. Derogation of tempting alternatives was something I was used to doing (frequently) for my third ex, though I wasn't explicitly aware of that. Just had that mindset of "he's worried about the competition, gotta make sure he knows that they're not appealing for specific reasons." I guess I assumed that I would receive a similar course of action from my fourth ex. No dice, though.

[Haaaaaaaa, it's so late/early now that f.lux switched off for the sunrise. >_>]

It's possible that I was just thinking of jealousy because I got jealous recently of a friend of the guy I like, and we ended up talking about it a little.

Maybe this falls under the header of "reframing something I thought was negative about myself as an acceptable or even positive thing"?

Some of the other things I've considered trying to improve but haven't really bothered with...
-Eating healthier (this just fluctuates, but I definitely am not as good about it as I was when I was younger, oops)
-Taking better care of my skin (e.g. wearing sunscreen, using facial masks, etc.... not having acne makes me feel better about myself, but having an extensive facial care routine is really tiring)
-Figuring out how to dress nicer/style myself better
-Setting specific fitness goals to work towards (try as I might, I just can't seem to care about this one that much)
-Working on creative skills (e.g. getting back into making comics, writing more)
-Developing hobbies I can actually share with people more easily
-Being more physically graceful (how does one even go about this???)

I dunno why I wrote out this list of things. It's almost 6 AM now and I just felt like writing another blog entry because I'm awake for some ungodly reason.

Here's another Magnetic Fields song for the heck of it.

"You and Me and the Moon" by The Magnetic Fields.

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.

randomjunk's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.135seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.