A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
--The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
Think about it
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Bear in Mind
Blue Milk Special
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Cyanide and Happiness
Daisy is Dead
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
The Intrepid Girlbot
Kyle & Atticus
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Lovecraft is Missing
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Nerds of Paradise
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Pictures for Sad Children
Political Cartoonists Index
Robbie and Bobby
Run Freak Run
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Cigarro & Cerveja
A Fine Example
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Meat and Plastic
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Somebody called me a "beacon of comfort" this week. :3
But... he said that because he was talking about how he wanted to talk to me when he was feeling bad, and I wasn't online. So... :(
My last final is tomorrow! Awright!
I should be studying for it, but I'm... not. I'm also supposed to make like five or six dozen cookies, but... I'm not doing that either. >_>
Actually, scratch that. I'm making the cookies.
Aaaaaaand now my arms kinda hurt because I'm making a triple batch, and instead of doing it one batch at a time I just dumped all the ingredients together, and it's really hard to stir.
Man, I should really study.
Okay, I studied.
I looked at the Most Popular list on a whim and saw this:
Apparently the internet likes me this week. o_O
2:50 AM and research daydreaming
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
I've been doing a lot of research for a literature review I have due soon. I'm researching the effects of different types of medication on geriatric dysthymia.
Dysthymia is a chronic, mild form of depression. Geriatric dysthymia is just dysthymia in old people.
I've noticed that there are certain researchers whose names keep popping up in the articles I'm finding. I think it's reasonable to conclude from this that these researchers are interested in the topic, if they keep doing studies on it. Following that assumption, I keep wondering what makes these guys want to keep researching this stuff. I've half-consciously been making up backstories for them in my head.
"D.P. Devanand, why do you keep doing studies on medications for dysthymia in the elderly? Did you have a depressed grandmother who raised you, and you always wished you could help her? Are your parents dysthymic? Is it someone else close to you?"
"Markowitz, apparently you're the authority on dysthymia... Are you searching for answers because you've had to deal with it and you want to find something meaningful that will resolve your feelings about it?"
In a slightly weird way I'm starting to feel like I know these people, and these questions are burned into my mind. >_>
Apparently I didn't notice a guy hardcore staring at me today while I was talking to my friend Alex. I was waiting for my dad to come pick me up, and this guy walked past me, and Alex kept watching him until he went way past us, and I was confused about why, then Alex said the dude was creepily staring at me (and then him), so he thought it was appropriate to stare back.
...There were a lot of commas in that sentence.
Anyway, I was like "aw man, I feel like I missed out on a fulfilling experience." I don't get creepily stared at very often, so it is a bit entertaining when it happens. As long as nobody tries to touch me, it's all good fun. :P
Trying to write weekly entries just isn't working for me
Monday, December 2, 2013
I was busy with Thanksgiving and stuff, so I dunno, maybe that's an excuse...
For Thanksgiving I made my mac and cheese, as per tradition, as well as mashed potatoes and a kale and spinach pot pie.
My boyfriend is a pretty big fan of the kale and spinach pie. He said he thought it was even better than the mac and cheese. :P I was hoping I'd have leftovers from Thanksgiving to bring to school for lunch this week, but surprisingly pretty much everything got eaten up.
On Saturday night I went to a club for the first time... One of my classmates was a DJ at this event that was advertised as an EDM thing, which made it sound more like it would be a rave. It... was not very rave-like at all. It was fun to dance and hang out there with my classmates though. I don't think I would like going to clubs very often, but once in awhile seems like it would be alright.
Unfortunately, one girl's clutch purse was stolen, so she lost her car keys, ID, and $20. The security guards found her empty clutch in the men's bathroom. She only noticed this after I left, but the people in our group who were still there stayed with her until her parents came and picked her up/sorted things out. She doesn't seem too upset by the experience at least, so that's good...
More homework, ugh. Finals are next week and I've got a couple of assignments to do before then. Really ready for this quarter to end.
Reverse rain cloud
Saturday, November 23, 2013
I feel like I'm in some kind of reverse rain cloud situation. You know those cartoons that have a person with their own rain cloud following them around, and it just rains on them alone while everyone else is happy and dry? It's like there are clouds raining on everyone else and I'm fine.
It's really weird. Maybe it's karma for not knowing what happiness was for years.
Anyway I'm not going to talk about that much, because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to rub it in the faces of the people who are feeling bad.
I was reading "A Full Member of the Club" by Bob Shaw and this quote was in it...
"I keep forgetting how parochial the natives of a single-planet culture can be. You have been told that we are from another world, and yet to you we are just slightly unusual Earth people. I don't suppose it has occurred to you that other races could have a stronger instinct toward honesty, that deviousness and lies would come less easily to them than to humans?"
In the story, the main character has just confronted some aliens, and he's suspicious of why they decide to explain their plan to him, and one of the aliens says this. I thought it was interesting because I feel like in most of the science fiction I've encountered, aliens really are kind of just "slightly unusual Earth people." Like they have similar motivations and stuff, or their minds work in pretty similar ways and they just behave differently.
Umm I also went to an open mic on Thursday with Lucy and my boyfriend and this guy played there and I thought he was very good.
He was a lot more professional than the other people at the open mic. Pretty much everyone who went up just sang songs or played music of some sort. No poetry or anything like that this time.
And... here's a picture from when I went out to an Indian place with my boyfriend. He looks like he's high.
And a picture of a squirrel with a stub tail at the park.
NAGGHH NOT AGAIN
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Dammit, JUST over a week since my last post. :\
Okay so let's see....
Got the highest grade in the class on my math test (105%, yay)...
Did my group presentation, mostly by myself because I had incompetent group mates. They didn't really do any research on it, and I did 3/4 of the actual Powerpoint part. One of them wanted to do the intro slides, which, let's be honest here, would have taken me all of ten minutes, but I let her do it because I wasn't going to be like "NO YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY GRADE!" Anyway I just created the slides and put headers on them and then she filled them in.
Groupwork makes me a really angry and cynical person. >.>
Other people in my class had the same issue though. I talked to a couple other people who are like me and actually work on group projects, and they were pretty much as stressed as I was. One guy is normally super laidback and stuff, and he was seriously getting mad about one of his group members doing nothing at all and being uncommunicative up until right before their presentation. I guess I avoided that since I just assumed from the start that I would be doing all of it myself, so I didn't expect much from my group members.
I have a test er... today, I guess. It's like 1 AM and my test is in the afternoon. I just finished outlining seven chapters of the book to study for it.
Essentially all I can think about right now is school. School school freakin' school. Bad things have been happening to people and I baked cookies and brought them on Tuesday in what honestly felt like a futile effort to help. I just wanted to do something, though. And people did enjoy the cookies, so that was good.
My boyfriend's boss and coworkers encouraged him to get a medical marijuana license because he's a workaholic and it's kind of concerning how much he works. He was apprehensive about the idea, but he went and got one just to give it a try, and he got some sort of super potent iced coffee drink and drank the whole thing, and he ended up getting horribly sick from it. He was at work on the floor, just vomiting into a tub. When I found out, I was of course extremely worried, so my parents and I went to pick him up. The door to his office area was locked and I couldn't get in, so he had to crawl out to where we were. Then he handed me his keys so I could go retrieve the iced pot coffee bottle (strange that that was the only thing he was concerned about) from his desk. I just grabbed all of his stuff (clothes, computer things, toiletries) while my dad emptied my boyfriend's vomit tub in the bathroom. (My parents are really awesome)
We got my boyfriend home safely, and I made him stay at my house today... er... yesterday... Wednesday... instead of going to work. He was still feeling sickish today (I mean Wednesday), poor thing. :\
A comical number of delaying-events happened while we were trying to go get him... My dad was printing out a map so we'd know how to get there, and the printer jammed, then my mom was like "WAIT, before we leave, you should fold down the futon so he can lie down!" so I had to do that (and put a sheet on it). Then when we were getting into the van, I dropped the big margarine tub we were going to use as a vomit bucket for my boyfriend, and it rolled under the van and we had to try to find it and retrieve it... I mean it's funny in retrospect, but at the time I was like "AAAHH MY BOYFRIEND IS HORRIBLY SICK AND VOMITING AT WORK AND ALL THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO SLOW US DOWN SO WE CAN'T GET HIM!"
Anyway things are okay now and he didn't die. I seriously cannot wait for this quarter to be over, jeez. I need a break.
Oh no it has been more than a week
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
School is crazy hectic. :\ I can see the people around me in class starting to crack.
Everyone was studying at lunch today because we had a test in the next class. I didn't feel like studying (what good was it going to do me at that point anyway?), so I was just eating my lunch and trying to chat with anybody who felt like talking. I went and sat next to a couple girls I sometimes hang out with during lunch (I still don't know which people in the class are my friends... I guess we are probably school friends though?)... One was studying, so she didn't talk. The other just had a vacant, tired expression, and she just kept staring into space. She looked like someone who had been through a traumatic event. >_<
The guy who sits behind me on Mondays and Wednesdays, who is possibly my friend, hides his emotional state much better. He was peppy and smiling, but he was talking about how he wasn't sure if he was going to pass one of our classes.
And me... I'm just worried that I'll get something below an A in one of my classes. I have a borderline A in two classes. 95%. If it gets any lower it's an A-... So that's what's stressing me out, I guess. I feel like I don't really have a right to be as stressed out by that as I am, since there are people worried about failing. I don't know. I guess we have different standards. I know I want to go to grad school, and I want to have the highest grades I possibly can for that.
To be honest, I don't think the work we have this quarter is really that hard, it's just that it's all been piling up around the same time. This week we had an eight page paper due for one class, a seven to nine page research paper for another class, a math test, and there's another test tomorrow. It's open book, at least.
Sickness and nightmares...
Monday, November 4, 2013
I feel like I've been having a lot of nightmares these past few weeks I've been sick, but I don't remember all of them.
There was one where I went into this huge cathedral that was very dark except for a spot near the entrance where there was a confessional, and there was a voice from outside(?) whispering to me, "This is a safe place, you can tell all your secrets here, don't hide anything..." I sat in one side of the confessional nervously, and the room seemed to grow darker. I could feel the darkness in a weird way... like it was closing in on me, just waiting for me to confess something. And I could feel a presence on the other side of the confessional, listening intently, as if I needed to open myself up in order for it to act. I got very scared and ran out of the cathedral, and as I exited into the daylight I became aware that I had narrowly escaped enslavement by a demon. I guess it was trying to trick me into telling it everything so that it could have power over me and bend me to its will. It still wanted to get me after I ran out, and since deception hadn't worked, it was going to send its minions after me... I just kept running, trying to find somewhere safe that I could hide. I went into my house and found that it was infested with (were?)wolves, so I left there in a panic. Sometime while I was running I guess a friend of mine caught up to me, and so we were trying to find somewhere to hide together. Well, she suggested that we climb up a eucalyptus tree in front of my house and hide in it, since they wouldn't think to look for me above ground. This seemed like a good idea, so I grabbed a branch to hoist myself up. The tree was like rubber and the entire thing pulled toward me with little resistance (this actually has happened every time I've tried to climb a tree in a dream), but after I let it spring back, it was solid. I started to climb up into the branches, but then I looked down and saw that my friend was just looking up at me, all fear and urgency gone from her face, and just smiling in a smug, somewhat malicious way. When I looked back up toward the upper branches, I realized why. Far above me, there was a valkyrie nest. Not good valkyries, though. These valkyries had completely black eyes and black skin that crackled in places, huge black-feathered wings, and long, thick, greasy looking black hair that clumped together for an almost dreadlock-like effect. They looked like they were made of charcoal and tar. They were also circling the tree I was perched in, and knew I was trapped. It occurred to me that my friend had betrayed me and must have been taken over by the evil valkyries so that they could trap me.
The dream I had last night had a little less detail. I was in a very large room made of smooth dark grey stone, on a stage that had been erected in the middle of it. Nobody was using the stage, and there were no seats for an audience. There was a little boy near me with his baby sister. He might have been three or four, and the baby was one or two. An old woman was there with us, and she was telling him about how it was possible to reach into a person's chest and pull out their heart to make them suffer. Hearing this, the little boy turned to his sister and promptly snatched her heart out, then stood there and observed it as it sat in his palm. I was horrified. The old woman seemed surprised too, as she hadn't meant that he should do it. This child clearly had the potential for a lot of evil. She stayed very calm and casual though, and smiled at me and told me that I should run far away while she talked to the boy. She was just trying to talk to him in a pleasant manner and make sure he didn't hurt anybody else... I guess she wasn't afraid of him the way I was. I ran for a long time and ended up in a neighborhood full of small hills. Every few houses there was another one, and the streets all went up and down with them. I kept going and going until I was hopelessly lost, and it still didn't seem far enough away.
Frickin' frackin' >:C
Sunday, November 3, 2013
So I'm doing a research paper on a social problem... We got to pick our own topics, and I picked fracking because I get emails about it from Sierra Club and the Center for Biological Diversity like every other day.
"There will be a lot of information on this!" I thought to myself.
In a way I was right, and in a way I was really, really wrong.
(For anybody who doesn't know, fracking, also known as hydrofracking and hydraulic fracturing, is a process in which millions of gallons of water mixed with chemicals and solids are pumped at a high pressure thousands of feet down into the ground in order to break up shale and release the gas or oil trapped there.)
Fracking is a hot topic in the environmental world, and its safety is highly debated... But there's not enough actual solid research on it. There are a few studies here and there (most of which I sadly don't have access to), but there is not a strong consensus any one way or the other.
As best I can figure, fracking has the potential to produce a lot of serious problems, but nobody can tell how likely things are to go wrong.
Now, oil and natural gas companies are choosing to go ahead with fracking anyway, despite a lack of research on its safety and long term effects. Their argument, as it always is, is that it creates jobs, reduces our dependence on foreign oil, etc... And they say it is safe.
Environmentalists say that fracking contaminates ground water and pollutes the air, destroys the habitats of animals, contributes to climate change, and of course keeps us dependent on fossil fuels-- domestic or not.
Personally I side with the environmental side, because as I see it, jobs come and go, and the economy will always fluctuate, but if we screw up the earth, there's no going back from that. The planet will probably recover on its own eventually, but we won't be around to see that if we really mess up. I do understand that a lot of people don't have the "luxury" of thinking about these things, because many are just barely scraping by and have to focus on their own survival, though.
Anyway I (re?)found this song today. I had heard it before, but I didn't realize these were the lyrics.
Also, Cee Lo Green's eyebrows make me think of Jafar.
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