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Te somnia nostra reducunt


Heavenly, the way your love surrounds me
misery feels like a beginning
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

“The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita






TICoSME
Musicalities!
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear in Mind
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
The Book of Biff
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
Daisy is Dead
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
E-merl.com
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius
Left-Handed Toons
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Lovecraft is Missing

Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
Metacarpolis
Moe
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat
Namesake
Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Powernap
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Run Freak Run
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror
Widdershins
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
2815 Monument

No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bobwhite
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Dream Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
The Meek
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Eat Liver
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
A thousand airplanes and Vermont
Sunday, July 5, 2015
I was reading 1000 Airplanes on the Roof again tonight. Listened to the soundtrack, wished I could have seen it live.

All right then, I surrender! I can no longer hold the universe at bay. There is a universe in my mind, struggling to make its way out. Memories slip between the cracks. The trickles become a torrent, carrying me away. At this moment, I've lost my job, I've lost any sesnse of the world beyond me. And, worst of all, I've lost the will even to hope-- that her life, the beating of her heart, could drown out these sounds! What choice do I have? No place could be as alien as this world has become.

I've run everywhere to escape my memories, everywhere but into my mind itself.


I'm back home. It feels strange. I guess, whenever I travel, it sort of feels like I leave my life at home behind.

There are visitors who travel the universe. Why? I don't know. How? I think I know. They travel because they've come to understand the role of matter over the five dimensions. There are always two ways to travel: the hard way. . . and the easy way. The hard way is across space-- the easy way is within space.

The lone Zen monk, sitting on a frozen hillside, outside a pavilion, has also mastered the easy way. He turns his eyes inward. And finds, there, an imprint of the universe. And, then, wherever he wants to be, he has already arrived.


I slept on the plane ride, and once I got home. Really, I was sleeping just about all day. Had many dreams, but hardly remember anything.

Even though it's been awhile now, I still think about Romeo. It's hard not to, I guess. His picture is on my debit card, so every time I pull it out, I'm reminded of him. It's a mild sadness that crops up every now and then. I'm wondering if I should just desensitize myself to it with prolonged and continual exposure, or if it would be better to pack the pictures and thoughts of him away and let myself feel that sadness once in awhile when I remember. Usually I view the first option as preferable, because avoidance solves absolutely nothing and sometimes tends to make things worse, but this time I don't know.

Not sure what to say about Vermont. It was very green there. I'd never want to live there, though. It felt like everyone who lived there was either a farmer, an artisan, or a worker in the tourism industry. We did a bike ride every day from Sunday through Thursday, and then did a short 2.5 mile hike on Friday. I think I hurt my shin or something... I'm not really sure what happened, because it doesn't look bruised, but there's some pain there. I don't think the distance of the rides we did means much, because there were lots of hills. I didn't know Vermont had so many hills before going there. On one of the days though, I ended up mostly biking (and sometimes walking) around seven miles uphill in the rain. That was probably the worst ride of the trip. I think I would rather do three times the mileage on a generally flat road than bike uphill.

Took a lot of pictures while I was in Vermont, but I'm too tired to post them right now. Later...

---

I liked this secret from Postsecret:

waste

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Empty space
Friday, June 26, 2015
I keep looking over at the cage and expecting Romeo to be there, but he's not. It's just Cici now. Mostly I don't feel sad unless I think about it too much, but it's taking awhile to really process him being gone. Cici seems okay so far, I guess. She comes out of the cage and flies around and chirps.

I'm leaving tonight for Vermont. Maybe the bike trip with my mom will take my mind off of things. My friend said he can't meet up after all, which is a bummer, but that's okay, I guess. I'll try to take lots of pictures in Vermont. It's supposed to rain a lot while we're there, which might be sort of nice, except for the fact that it will very possibly rain on us as we bike. I'm not looking forward to that so much.

And then... right after I get back from Vermont, I'll spend some time with my boyfriend. That should be nice. Haven't gotten to play games with him or anything these past couple days, so hopefully we'll get some Divinity playtime in.

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Goodbye Romeo
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Romeo died this morning. He was very weak, and he couldn't perch anymore. He could barely walk, either. I had a crisis hotline shift at 7 AM, so I asked my parents to check on him periodically while I was gone, and I got a text around 9 AM from my mom. She said she found him lying on the floor of the cage, not moving. Part of me hoped that she was mistaken and he was just very still, but when I got home there was no question that he was gone.

We put him in a box and buried him in the backyard, next to one of the fruit trees. At first I was digging the hole by myself, but my dad came out to help me. I wanted the hole to be deep enough that nothing would dig it up.

I was worried he would die while I was gone. This morning before I left, I held him a little and told him I loved him and said goodbye. I guess it was good that I did that, because it sounds like he didn't hold out much longer than that.

Here's a picture I took of him yesterday.

He was all fluffed up like that this morning, too, but not when I came home after my shift. He didn't even look like himself anymore when I came home. His eyes were wrong. They looked... deflated and dried out. Something to do with the vitreous humor, I guess.

I cried a bit when I was in my room, and when I was talking to my mom about it. She gave me a hug and cried a little too. Romeo was with us for over ten years, and it hardly feels real that he's gone now. I had to go for therapy in the afternoon, and when I got back, there were flowers in my room. I guess my mom thought they might cheer me up. It was a nice gesture.

My boyfriend has been supportive too, although I wish he could have given me a hug when I texted him about it. There's not much that can be said, really, but he told me he loved me, and that was comforting.

I'll be okay, but I'm still kind of sad for now.

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No cupcakes [2P]
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Things that happened!
Friday, June 19, 2015
Two things to report:

1. I am now done with undergrad, except for the graduation ceremony!

2. My first anniversary with my boyfriend just passed!

We haven't celebrated our anniversary (yet?), but it's nice to think about. I had so much to do that I almost forgot it was our anniversary, haha. Managed to sneak in a little text to him, though. :)

I hope we find some time to get a cupcake. Honestly though, I'm just really happy that we're going to spend some time together. It was a bit hard to get enough time with him when I had all my projects and finals and stuff. Now I don't have to do anything, though! So maybe we'll finally make some progress in Divinity. XD

We might also start playing a different game together... not sure what, just yet. For now, all I want to do is hug him and feel him close to me and give him bunches and bunches of love. I can't believe it's been a year already. I also can't believe it's only been a year.

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Only a few days left! [3P]
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Moving?
Saturday, June 13, 2015
"You and I" by New Look.


I've been listening to New Look a lot these past few days.

I'll be graduating in a week! Crazy to think about. I still have a ton to do before then though. :( In all honesty, what I have to do isn't hard, it's just tedious.

This morning I got up at 5:45 AM because I have a 7 AM crisis line shift. It's... only 7:43 right now, haha. Got a few hours to go... Then I'm going to have lunch with my new friend. Hopefully that'll be fun! I liked hanging out with him last week.

---

So... Recently I've been considering moving in with my boyfriend. Assuming all goes well and I'm accepted into the school I want, that would be really convenient, since he's close to it. I wouldn't have to pay rent, but I'd help clean and cook and other chores. And run errands. Housegirlfriend! :P It's exciting and just a little scary to think about. He's thinking about moving apartments soon, so we've been looking at some together...

Also, our anniversary is next week! I guess we're probably not going to celebrate it, since other stuff is going on, but it's kind of crazy to think about. A year seems like such a long time. And yet, it also feels like I've been with him all my life. Maybe he'd think it's silly for me to say this, but I often feel like our relationship is outside time. Like time is just a distraction from something which has no true beginning or end. It's funny to think there was ever anything before this, because how can there be something prior to that which is timeless?

I feel very happy today!

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Youtube autoplay
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
So this came up after some Touane tracks I was listening to...

"L'Indien" by Baron Retif & Concepcion Perez.


I wasn't watching the video at first but switched to that tab just in time to see random dolphins poorly greenscreened into the background and ended up watching more of the video. It's... silly. But it amuses me.

I've been listening to videos like this while I write my paper for my Intimate Relationships class and I feel like it's sorta helpful, because it keeps me from wanting to find any music to listen to, but it's not distracting. The past few days while I was trying to work, I wanted music to listen to but I ended up spending too much time looking for something that felt right and too little time actually working on anything...


In any case it's almost 3:30 AM so I should probably be getting to bed...

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