This is the same screen I see everytime I turn on my laptop. :P

I don't bother changing it back because then it just dies again, so what's the point?

Orbit, I believe.


I was wondering why there were faces on the backs of the saddles on the carousel and Angie pointed out they were supposed to be skinned animals...

Very family friendly, no?

Corn!

Reminds me of that post by middaymoon...

Hanging out at the park after Neil's graduation party.


Cucumber water.

Yum yum.

Fluffernutters.

Yes I did call them that. I'd been holding back for a while but I couldn't resist. :D

It's been a relatively slow week. My brother was being a pain in the ass a bit earlier when we were watching TV. Yelling at him to shut up didn't help for very long. He kept saying he was a "better artist" than me because he can "draw better" than me. Uh.... right. He copies shit into a notebook. Basically he's good at copying. Otherwise he's terrible at everything. He has no imagination, pretty much, except when it comes to making up new ways to bother me. I told him to go plan his birthday party and he says "WOW, do you even know what day it is?" or something to the effect. I said "July 2nd" because I assumed he meant today. And I don't know how long it takes him to plan his parties but he's gotta get some invitations out at least.

If anybody wants to come and shoot him a few times I'd be much obliged. :)

I think about dying a lot, I guess you guys know that. One of the things that comes up quite often is what I would say (last words-wise) if something cataclysmic happened and I was about to die.

So usually when I like someone I would think of myself, maybe torn apart by some large, de-railed truck, bleeding furiously and on the brink of death, saying their name.

Mostly I like to wonder how much it would mess with people, particularly my friends. Like if my last words were "DC!" or something, and my parents asked my friends if they knew what I meant.

Boy, that would be SO awkward for poor ol' Angie/Lucy/Varsha/whoever. Can you imagine that?

-My friend knocks on a door-
-DC answers-
Friend: Uh.... hi, you don't... know me... but... my friend died and her last words concerned you
DC: What?
Friend: Yeah, the last thing she said was the nickname we used to call you by.
DC: What was the nickname?
Friend: Uh... DC...
DC: What does that stand for?
Friend: ....I'd rather not say.

:P

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Neil's party: fun, slightly depressing. His mom read us her crappy poetry and made the party about his sister. (Sign proclaiming: Happy Sweet Sixteen!, his sister's birthday was in April)

Varsha's party, aka Varsha's hangout: fun, they played Guitar Hero for six or so hours. We ate ice cream and chips. Amir was "being Persian" (as explained by Neil) and did not show up. Made some observations, conclusion: guess was wrong.

Tea party: alright, a little awkward. Food was decent. Christina was last to come, even though we shifted the time for her and her alone. Played with the intercom setting on my house phone. Fun for me, not so much so for my friends I think.

Today: woke up at eight, went to the doctor's at nine thirty. Got a shot. came home, was hungry. Ate.

My life is going back to its normal, boring self. FUN FUN.

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... Cutting off most of my hair and then dying the remaining part a neon blue and sitting in a corner, laughing hysterically at the color of the walls.

I don't even like blue!

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Saturday (as in the day after today, tomorrow) is Neil's graduation party day. And I believe it starts at noon?

My dad just walked in and told me to open "all my windows" (I only have one window in my room...) tonight, because we want to chill the house as much as possible in order to keep it cool for tomorrow. (I was worried he would say it was going to be in the hundreds but he said ninety six.)

Went to Great America today. I guess it was fun. Mostly I was just hanging around with Angie. I didn't feel like we were really part of the group. Alice, Theo, Joanna, and Helen were kind of together and we were off to the side.

Saw Janine there, too. She has a job drawing caricatures. :P

I'm not hungry, but we're having pizza for dinner. I guess all those overpriced drinks at Great America filled me up. ($3.81 and $5.45, including tax, for an Icee and a rootbeer float, respectively.)

-Sigh-

Pizza for breakfast tomorrow, then. :)

---

By the way guys... did you all get my notice that [2P] = [2nd password] and [DP] = [Default password]? I figured it was pretty clear but there haven't been really any comments on my password protected posts, that are related to the entries at least. If you knew then I guess I just haven't been writing anything interesting lately. :P

---Edit---

Hey, hey look, look guys. I have a bunch of the symptoms of psychosis!

* Abnormal displays of emotion <--
* Confusion <--
* Depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts <--
* Disorganized thought and speech <--
* Extreme excitement (mania) <--
* False beliefs (delusions) <--
* Loss of touch with reality <--
* Mistaken perceptions (illusions) <--
* Seeing, hearing, feeling, or perceiving things that are not there (hallucinations)
* Unfounded fear/suspicion <--

This does not mean that I am psychotic of course, but one can dream... (HAHA what.)

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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So I realized I tend to overestimate how things are going to turn out, all the time, for everything. Not that I always believe things are going to be crazy extreme, but the standards I automatically have are really high.

For instance, when a member of my family (didn't know him, so whatever) committed suicide, my mom wouldn't tell me how he did it although I was very curious. So I assumed it was something cool like swallowing a bomb and blowing his guts everywhere.

And then I learned that he shot himself.

First reaction: Awww, what? That was it?

I didn't know I did this, really, until a couple of hours ago, when I was talking with Lucy.

So, yes, unrealistic hopes/expectations?

When someone tells me something is "bad" my imagination runs wild. Your grandma died? You don't want to talk about it? Let me just assume the craziest, worst thing possible. (I know this is kind of a natural response but I think I go beyond what would be considered "worst" for some people)

If you don't want to talk about your grandma's death I will assume that she was unicycling across a tightrope strung between two skyscrapers, and when she got to the middle both building collapsed because she was freakishly obese, and she was buried in the resulting debris.

I know this situation would never happen, WILL never happen, but that is what I think of when you say you don't want to talk about it because it was very bad.

And then you finally give in and say "she died of cancer" and I think "oh, that's it?"

See, I know that the things I imagine can't happen, but I always wonder.

I explained it to Lucy like this:

Let's say that my mind has Reality, which is a little blob. Reality is surrounded by What If?, which is a big blob.

You say "I know this AMAZING restaurant."

Reality goes "oh, good food and nice atmosphere."

What If? pokes Reality and says "maybe there are elephants instead of waiters and as they bring your food, which by the way is on plates that have holes in the middle so they can be brought on a shish-kabob style stick to your table, they tap dance to oldies tunes!"

Reality says "No way, man, that's not possible."

What If? pokes Reality some more and says "Are you sure?"

Reality replies, "Well, yeah, I mean..."

What If? keeps poking Reality and saying "are you SURE? Are you sure sure SURE? Because you know it could happen. YOU NEVER KNOW."

And Reality starts to lose the argument.

And then we go to the restaurant and it turns out that there are normal people serving the food, and it does not come on shish-kabob-ed plates.


The giant skewer would actually be completely vertical, but it was hard to draw it like that without cutting off Humperdink Junkimus III's face. (Yes, the elephant portrayed is the cartoon version of the stuffed one I got for my birthday)

I am severely disappointed but I don't say anything because I know I had really unrealistic hopes.

---Edit---

OMG [pronounce it like AHM-guh] guys Bear Nuts Vol. 1 is available for pre-order! I don't really need the book but I like to support the artists of the webcomics I adore. Plus, free sticker! ($18.99 is a little pricey for my tastes but I do love the comic, so I'm leaning towards that Buy button. :D)

Also there is a very fine scab line cutting across my torso, just below the navel, and I don't know how I got it. Maybe aliens cut me open when I was asleep and all they left was this faint mark!

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But until then, I'll keep posting these.



I suppose I am going to Great America on Friday, then.

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So apparently if I write a nonsense entry-- that nobody reads, to boot-- I get to be Most Popular? Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy what.

Today... I walked around with Angie for many hours. And we had chocolate chip pancakes, yum yum. Except that I felt sick afterwards 'cause I ate too much. Oops.

And we saw Varsha, and I let myself go and just said everything that came to my mind, so I sounded high. FUN STUFF.

On Saturday we might go see Varsha dance, and possibly on Friday I'm going to Great America with Alice, but I dunno. She's probably going to just be hanging out with her boyfriend and stuff and I would be alone if Angie or Lucy couldn't go...

Much stuff.

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